Be gentle and loving to your own good self

Be Gentle and Loving to your own good self - esther neela blog

“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.”
~ Margo Anand ~

Many times, I am the worst critic of myself. At times I get so hard on myself that I find it impossible to believe that I am doing it!

In the past, it has always taken much effort to love myself. Often, I was critical and even annoyed with myself over many aspects of my life and its happenings. Often, I took on the blame for other people failures. It took me a while or should say many years to realise that I do not need to carry all the burdens of everyone around me. It also took me awhile to love the person as I am. I lacked confidence in a number of aspects, for example in the way I look, dress, speak and more. While it does not need anyone to say anything negative to me, I could instantly, in a snap be very critical of myself that it brought me down in terms of emotions to negative thoughts and feelings. Often, it took plenty of courage on my part just to love myself. Afraid that I might look like a failure, I kept all of these to myself not wanting to discuss these aspects with anyone.

I am in my 40s now. Looking back, I could see many moments of life wasted just by being a critic of myself. That not only brought more bitterness to me but it also did not let me enjoy life and its moments. Spiritual knowledge or just to love myself is what I needed. While it is easy to go out to the world and proclaim, “I am the worse critic and I lack self-confidence,” I did not want to do it as society had its own expectations of me and most importantly, I had my own expectations of myself. I was afraid to talk about it to humans. Nevertheless, I turned inwards many times to my inner self and to God and his guides for direction and assistance. I am quite sure I received some kind of help from the inner self. At the same time, my self-critical voice was too loud to hear the inner voices. I wasted my life moments going around like a self-negative bomb, ready to burst on anyone that triggered it unknowingly.

The good thing to know is that your inner self NEVER gives up on you. My inner self made me search – search endlessly wanting to put an end to this very negative and dark areas. My inner self lead me to music, books and poems. The music piece that triggered in me a positive self-change and wanting to love myself more was “Adiemus” by Karl Jenkins. One day many years back in my dark negative self, I just played the CD (I had purchased the inspiration moments 1 collection of music), “Adiemus” piece came. I just closed my eyes and drifted away – in peace, in love and in bliss. I was so peaceful that it is now impossible to explain in words. As of now, I play that piece of music and I can get goosebumps! Another music piece that will offer me peace and love anytime will be “Nightingale” by Yanni. This music piece brought about a closer connection to Nature or Mother Earth. It was as if it was erasing my negativity and replacing it with pure love (like a mother cradling a child with love). I wanted these peaceful and positive feelings to persists and wanted to carry it with me always and forever. I was silly not to realise that those wonderful positive feelings was always there – in me and in everyone too. We put a mask over it – by our expectations and societal expectations. Once the mask is up, we forget our true beautiful and lovely selves.

Be Gentle and Loving to your own good self - esther neela blog

My search went on and then I stumbled upon Self-Realisation Fellowship Parahamansa Yogananda book, “Journey to Self-Realization (Collected Talks and Essays, Vol 3)” and I was just so inspired and felt more loved and worthy by reading this book. It seemed that Parahamansa Yogananda was speaking directly to me on all my issues.

(The links to the music pieces and books are at the end of this post)

Another great mystic whom I love and respect is Rumi. He changes the reader with his beautiful poems. Rumi woke me from my negative sleep. He together with other Masters and Teachers made me see the positive value of my life. As Rumi puts,
“Close your eyes, fall in love, stay there.”

Slowly, but surely I made progress. Now, my critical self is quieter these days as I spend by being in Zen (by conscious living and living in the moments). However, my critical self is not totally “dead” or gone. It comes on and off making me think negatively over something or someone. I suppress the negative self-talk by focusing on my breath, nature (if I am outside), mantra, meditation, prayer, writing, coloring, drawing and more. I gently “kick” my negative thoughts and feelings away, replacing it with positive thoughts and feelings.

Often, it is very easy to fall into the trap of making ourselves look vulnerable and self-pitiable for so many negative and unhappy happenings in our life. The first step of remedy is to realise that we brought upon ourselves these negativity. In addition, we also need to realise that we are the Masters of our own life. Therefore, it is right that we erase it and replace it with positivity by our own efforts. It is not the responsibility of the world, society and family to get it done for us. We need to act like a Master and correct it.

These days there are many options out there to get it right. Books and music are easily available in electronic versions. Music is one way to find peace and unity with your own self. The only thing is that you just need to search for the right one to lift your spirits. Written works or books allow us to get in touch or connected with Ancient Masters. If you rather have people comfort, there are many support groups out there. If you are determined to get things right and / or sorted, the options will be available to you in many forms and ways.

The biggest mistake anyone can make is to waste his / her life precious moments in self-pity and negativity. To counter that, one need to love himself and be gentle at the same time. In fact it is so very easy to start loving our own self. We can start immediately without having to getting any clearance, approval or not doing much. After all, it is about us and life.

My friends, the year is ending soon. 2019 will be here soon. Take this opportunity to do a “self-check” and get rid of any mental clutter and negativity. It is now or never. You might not make great progress at a start. A small step is what one needs. Indeed, it is a big favor one will be doing for himself.

Imagine yourself as a positive bubble. There will be no one out there who will be able burst that bubble if you do not let them do it. If they try to burst your bubble, you can always tape it up with self-worth and self-love. I have done it and I am still doing it. Many others, who have experienced similar or different ways of negativity, have overcome it.

Let us all welcome 2019 with a big hug and wave a big bye to 2018, with gratitude…

“To be beautiful means to be yourself.
You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. “
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~

Be Gentle and Loving to your own good self - esther neela blog

The links to the various music pieces that made a difference to my life

Link to Adiemus by Karl Jenkins
Video (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLjDAxHiDQ4
Audio (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX__4aHwYzM

Link to Nightingale by Yanni
Video1 (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPc5kMrStkY
Video2 (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inWzjwLmiPo

Be Gentle and Loving to your own good self - esther neela blog

The links to the books that has made a difference to me and is continuing to make a difference to many others in the world…

Link to the Self-Realisation Fellowship Parahamansa Yogananda book, “Journey to Self-Realization (Collected Talks and Essays, Vol 3)”
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6604259-journey-to-self-realization

Link to Man’s Eternal Quest (Collected Talks & Essays 1) by by Paramahansa Yogananda
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/648109.Man_s_Eternal_Quest?from_search=true

Link to Rumi’s Little Book of Life: The Garden of the Soul, the Heart, and the Spirit by Rumi, Maryam Mafi (Translator), Azima Melita Kolin (Translator)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14343182-rumi-s-little-book-of-life

Link to Dancing Into the Light: An Inner Journey Guided by Rumi by Rumi, Omid Arabian (Translation), Shilla Shakoori (Illustrations)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32165751-dancing-into-the-light?from_search=true

and more…

Be Gentle and Loving to your own good self - esther neela blog

 

Age has no limits for interests!

I am a Postcrossing member and recently at the Postcrossing blog, an article was written featuring their oldest member for now. She is Helen, 101 years old from the USA. One should read to find out that there are no age barriers for interests – even though we might have some limitations within our physical body as we age.

Among whatever that was written, what caught my eye was when Helen mentioned, “What you don’t use, you lose!” Isn’t that very much the truth? Our daily activities are at times so confined to certain matters, that we do not get to use all our talents and capabilities. It is time to look at ourselves and ask on a daily basis on what we are failing to use and letting it go to waste.

I was totally thrilled to read on Helen. I hope you do find some inspiration in this article just as I did.

Link to the article:

Title: A special postcrosser: Honney17 from the USA!

https://www.postcrossing.com/blog/2018/10/27/a-special-postcrosser-honney17-from-the-usa

Enjoy the Little Things

An Inspiration / Motivation

For those who already know, I am into PostCrossing. For those who are keen to know more about PostCrossing, you can read the details here.

2 days ago, I received a postcard (as part of PostCrossing initiative) from Jacki of USA. What captured my attention was firstly the picture of the card (an owl!!!) and also the wording printed at the bottom of the card. The pictures are posted here and I also type the words after this just in case, it is not clearly visible…

The postcard is a painting by N. Kirsten-Honshin,“Mystical Messenger of the Morning Light”

Sacred Beauty Messenger

Spirit of the Night

Recognizing Each Moment

As a Precious Gift

Your Message is not only of the Darkness of the Night

But of the returning Morning Light

My further reflection is that in each moment, be it filled with bitter moments or pleasant moments, it has always something to convey to us. It is up to us on how we wish to take the lessons and experiences. Not all lessons or experiences can be pleasant. Should we have the mindset to look at the everything around us as a “precious gift”, life will hold more value than what we think. We might not get whatever we wished for immediately or we might not even get whatever we wished for at all. The most important thing is to always look for “hidden” blessings in any situation. If we choose to look at all moments in a positive way, life would not be difficult to live and we will not carry negativeness in us. This is not easy – but for anything – it is a matter of trying – it is a matter of choices. Who else is going to make the choices? We…we choose the kind of thoughts to carry in our minds and hearts…no one is responsible.

Since we have the choice, why not make the right and wise choices now itself?

20180802_21041820180802_210356

Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi

I have ever touched on Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi topic before. This is a reinforcer on that from Mindful company…

https://www.mindful-company.com/blogs/notebook/what-is-kintsugi?utm_source=Website&utm_campaign=00785f9605-20180802_WOTM&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_657b536f8f-00785f9605-154401753&goal=0_657b536f8f-00785f9605-154401753&mc_cid=00785f9605&mc_eid=3c77398888

broken

 

Acts of Self-Love

It has been a long while since I posted something. Hope to be back at regular intervals to post something…today, I came across an article from the “Mindful Company” on acts of self-love… After all, we do not need the world to love us first. We need to love ourselves first…Enjoy loving and believing in your own self!

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Mindful Company – Acts of Self-Love

https://www.mindful-company.com/blogs/notebook/21-simple-everyday-acts-of-self-love?utm_source=Website&utm_campaign=00785f9605-20180802_WOTM&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_657b536f8f-00785f9605-154401753&goal=0_657b536f8f-00785f9605-154401753&mc_cid=00785f9605&mc_eid=3c77398888

self-love

 

Read and Reflect: Embrace the wounds and “scars”…

e3403-read2b25262breflect

pottery

All of us at one stage of our life will be “broken” and tested to the extremes that it can give us wounds or “scars” that can be temporary or permanent.

Instead of “masking” those wounds or scars, why not try to embrace it with an open mind and a new thought?

The Japanese believe in repairing broken things with gold – embracing the flaws and acknowledging it in a beautiful way. They call this Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi. You could have seen many potteries being adorned with gold lines, in order to repair it or give new meaning to it. Why don’t we do the same too to our life?

Acknowledge all those hurts and broken times. Be prepared to face it, with “gold”. There will be lessons we could have learnt from it that will make us stronger and wiser.

In other words, embrace the wounds and “scars”, not hide it!

kintsugi

kitsugi

Courage : Weekly Single Word Inspiration

Courage: Weekly Single Word Inspiration - Esther Neela Blog

Courage!  

Most of the times, we want to be safe and doing the usual, familiar things – that is being in our comfort zone. What about the time when we need to be in the “unknown” zone? What about the time when we need to try something that is different from what we have done in the past and what we are already familiar with? That is when fear, helplessness, and doubt creeps in. We tend to lose confidence in ourselves and in our ability. To overcome all of that, we need courage. 

As Osho once said, 

“The new is unfamiliar. It may be the friend, it may be the enemy, who knows? There is no way to know! The only way to know is to allow it; hence the apprehension, the fear.” 

Each of our life will definitely present to us situations when we have to bring out the attribute of courage out. When we open ourselves up to new adventures, the end result might be success or failure. We will never know that until we try. But our focus should not be on results only. The fact that we have already stepped out of our comfort zone to do a work, is something to be appreciated. 

If life presents to you an occasion when you had to step out of your comfort zone, always say “Yes!” Do not worry about the results yet. Just be in the present moment and live your life fully…

Who knows? The situation/occasion that calls you to be in might bring you new opportunities…

Have confidence in yourself that you are capable to handle anything that comes along your way. Have faith in yourself. 

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? 

We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. 

We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, 

at whatever cost, must be attained.” 

~ Marie Curie ~

Courage: Weekly Single Word Inspiration - Esther Neela Blog