We’ve all heard the airplane safety instruction: in case of emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It’s practical advice for survival at 30,000 feet. It is also one of the most profound lessons for living a sustainable, compassionate life on the ground.
Yet so many of us resist this wisdom. We pour ourselves into caring for others—family, friends, colleagues, and communities. We keep going until we’re running on empty. We wonder why we feel depleted, resentful, or burned out.
The truth is simple but often uncomfortable: you cannot give what you don’t have. And trying to save others while neglecting yourself isn’t noble—it’s unsustainable.
The Cost of Self-Neglect
When we consistently prioritize others’ needs over our own, we pay a price. Exhaustion becomes our baseline. Stress accumulates. Joy fades. We become less patient, less present, less effective in the very roles we’re trying to fulfill.
In Singapore’s high-pressure culture, this pattern is especially common. We’re taught to work hard, sacrifice for family, and push through discomfort. Self-care can feel selfish or indulgent. It can seem like something we’ll get to “later.” We plan to address it when things slow down. We will do it when we’ve achieved enough. It happens when everyone else is okay.
But later never comes. And meanwhile, we’re running on fumes.
Reframing Self-Care
Saving yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s strategic. It’s recognizing that your wellbeing is the foundation. It underlies everything else you want to do and everyone you want to support.
Think of it this way: you are the well from which others drink. If the well runs dry, no one benefits. But when you tend to the well—filling it with rest, nourishment, joy, and presence—there’s abundance to share.
Self-care isn’t about bubble baths and spa days (though those can be lovely). It’s about the daily, unglamorous work of meeting your own needs. This includes getting enough sleep, eating well, and moving your body. It also involves setting boundaries, asking for help, and creating space for stillness.
Practical Ways to Save Yourself First
1. Start Your Day for You
Before you check messages, emails, or dive into others’ needs, give yourself 10-15 minutes. Light a candle, sit in silence, journal, or simply breathe. This small act signals that your wellbeing matters.
2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself. You don’t need to justify every boundary. “I’m not available” is a complete sentence. Protect your time and energy like the precious resources they are.
3. Check In With Yourself Daily
Ask: What do I need right now? Am I hungry, tired, overwhelmed, lonely? Treat yourself with the same care and attention you’d offer a loved one. Use a journal to track patterns and honor your needs.
4. Create Non-Negotiable Rituals
Identify 1-2 practices that restore you—meditation, walking, reading, creative time—and make them non-negotiable. Schedule them like important meetings. Your wellbeing is that important.
5. Release the Guilt
You are not responsible for everyone’s happiness, success, or comfort. You can care deeply and still prioritize your own needs. In fact, you must. Let go of the belief that your worth is measured by how much you sacrifice.
The Ripple Effect
Here’s what happens when you save yourself first: you show up more fully. You have more patience, clarity, and energy. You model healthy boundaries for others. You become a source of genuine support rather than resentful obligation.
Your children learn that self-care is normal, not selfish. Your friends see that it’s okay to prioritize wellbeing. Your colleagues witness sustainable work habits. The people around you benefit not despite your self-care, but because of it.
Tools to Support Your Journey
At Senseful Crafts (www.sensefulcrafts.com), we create tools to anchor your self-care practice. We offer candles to mark sacred pauses. Our journals are for reflection. We provide crystals for grounding. Meditation malas are available to guide your breath. Each piece is a reminder that tending to yourself is not optional; it’s essential.
Your Permission Slip
If you’ve been waiting for permission to prioritize yourself, here it is: You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to put yourself first without explanation or apology.
Not because you’ve earned it through endless sacrifice, but because you’re human. Because your wellbeing matters. Because you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Save yourself first. Care for yourself not instead of caring for others. This way, you can care for them sustainably and joyfully. You will be doing so from a place of abundance rather than depletion.
The oxygen mask principle isn’t just for emergencies. It’s for every single day.
Explore Senseful Crafts collection of self-care tools at upcoming fairs and pop-ups.
Blog by Esther Neela M. 