“Death must be so beautiful.
To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence.
To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow.
To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.”
~ Oscar Wilde, “The Canterville Ghost” ~
“You do not have to seek out loneliness – it is always there…
Loneliness is a reality that you experience…a part of the journey.”
~Chögyam Trungpa~
Happy July my friends! 🙂
It has been a long time since I posted something. Today I want to share on my favourite after lunch tea, Earl Grey. I know not all are tea fanatics or have special love for tea only. I do not drink coffee. I love tea. Not all teas are my favourite. Among the teas I consume, Earl Grey is one of my favourite, stress-reliever tea. It works well for me as “pick-me up” after a tired day or “wake-me up” while drowsy in sleep…
My first love with Earl Grey happened when I went to dine in at a restaurant and requested them for Green Tea. The restaurant did not have any green tea tea and they offered me as a substitute Earl Grey tea. I took it, as it was my habit to take tea after my lunch. What they offered me was Sir Thomas Lipton Earl Grey Tea. The first sip and I was in love with the tea. I started hunting for the same brand but it was hard to get that as usually that brand is sold to F&B outlets in bulk (I was told by one supermarket retail person). I bought Dilmah Earl Grey instead. It is serving me well. Lately, I wanted to try another brand Earl Grey and I bought Taylors of Harrogate. Taylors of Harrogate tea is fantastic too!
Quite some time back, I made my Taylors Dilmah Tea at work and one of my colleagues came around looking for the person who is drinking Earl Grey. The fragrance has floated quite a distance and she found me and asked me of the brand. Now, she loves Taylors of Harrogate Earl Grey.
There are plenty of articles and blog posts on Earl Grey benefits. I am just listing two posts on Earl Grey.
10 Surprising Benefits Of Earl Grey Tea You Never Knew by Tegan Jones
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-surprising-benefits-earl-grey-tea-you-never-knew.html
What is Earl Grey Tea? by Teatulia
https://www.teatulia.com/tea-varieties/what-is-earl-grey-tea.htm
Taylors of Harrogate: my new addition to Earl Grey Tea…
https://www.taylorsofharrogate.com/
Dilmah: for a long time drinking this…
https://www.dilmah.com.au/tea-brands/dilmah-exceptionals/exceptional-elegant-earl-grey–44.html
Sir Thomas Lipton: this was my first love…
https://www.unileverfoodsolutions.com.sg/en/product/sir-thomas-lipton-earl-grey-2g-1-EN-111956.html
Of course, not all might feel the same way as I do about Earl Grey Tea. But if you do have a special love for Earl Grey Tea, welcome to my club! Even if you are not a tea lover, thank you for taking time to read this post. For those who have not tried Earl Grey before, perhaps you should make an effort to do so. Who knows you too might find a new love with Earl Grey tea?
“Do you know what you are?
You are a manuscript of a divine letter.
You are a mirror reflecting a noble face.
This universe is not outside of you.
Look inside yourself;
everything that you want,
you are already that.”
~Rumi~
(taken from Hush, Don’t Say Anything to God: Passionate Poems of Rumi)
As most people know, I am a cat owner. On Saturday, 12 January 2019, we (our family) had a difficult decision to put our dear lovely cat, Sesame to sleep. While no one wants to go through that decision-making, we, especially me, dreaded thinking of that moment. Sesame was not my first cat who had to go through the death process. I already had three cats who went through that – but those were natural death. The three earlier cats each had a disease that took them naturally away from us. Was it easy to deal with their natural death? In a way Yes. However, Sesame’s death was different and difficult. It was a decision we had to take and like many other pet owners’ questions such as “What if?”, “Was that necessary?” or “Maybe a miracle can take place…” and so on. She was put to sleep on Saturday, 12 January at 1.37 am. It was a time when the whole world became quiet and still for me. I was sure feeling helpless and lousy…
Sesame had her first seizure on 09 January, morning. We rushed her to the vet and the vet ran many tests and fixed an appointment for further tests 2 weeks later. She was back home, was eating well, but the movement had decreased and she was mostly confined to her sleeping area. Late Friday night, 11 January, before 12 am, Sesame had her second seizure. This time, it was longer than the earlier one. To make things worse, she also had bleeding from her nose. We rushed to the emergency vet. She seemed lifeless for a long time at the vet. The vet was suggesting further tests in the morning when the regular clinic is in operation. The vet was also telling us that she had limited chances of survival if we prolong her life. We looked at her and we knew she did not have the strength or determination to take it any further. After much debates among ourselves, we finally agreed to a common decision. When the decision was made to put Sesame down, she seemed to understand and started “cleaning” herself (as if preparing herself) for the final journey. My mother was the one who was speaking to her until the final journey.
As a pet owner, this is something I do not like. However, it is also something I cannot avoid too. Anything that has life in it has an expiry date too…after all, being in the Spiritual line and/or holistic, I should be better prepared? Well, not really. My departed cats and existing cats all have taught me some lessons and are still teaching me too. Each of my earlier departed cats went through the death process differently. My first cat, Jacintha had heart problems. My second cat, Violet had kidney issues. My third cat, Lotus, had blood-related issues. However, their deaths were natural – something that was slightly easier to accept. Sesame’s death was and will not be easy for me and for my mother too (as she is the one who is always at home with them). Sesame taught me a valuable lesson…What was that? Even at that time of death, there is nothing to fear: Prepare and accept it…
Can I accept? As of now, I am still struggling to accept. My cats are part of my family life. They are part of me too…It will take some time, as any death will do.
In addition, I must add something on Sesame: she was the most responsive cat I ever had. She was adopted from SPCA, together with her best buddy, Violet. She responds to any talk by us to her with “meows” and was never shy to respond in her cat meows. Even to the last, Sesame was responding with her meows – perhaps she is also saying her final “goodbyes” to us.
We had a private cremation for Sesame on 12 January 2019, Saturday. We got that done at Mount Pleasant Pet Cremation Centre.
To our dear beautiful Sesame: Thank you for being part of our family over these years. Most importantly, thank you for the wonderful memories…
I have dedicated some pages just for my cat Zen Masters in my website. I appreciate their time with me and their unspoken ways of unconditional love…
https://www.withinsenses.com/my-zen-cats
The internet is full of pet owners telling of their agony and the life lessons they received, etc. I chose two articles that relate to me most…
5 Lessons I Learned From Losing My Own Pet by Kimberley Beldam-Saylor
http://drandyroark.com/5-lessons-learned-losing-pet/
Dealing With the Loss of Your Cat by Adrienne Kruzer, RVT
https://www.thesprucepets.com/grieving-the-loss-of-your-cat-552081
“You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck”
~ Rumi ~
Today I celebrate my entrance into this world (that is my birthday). I take this time to wish anyone celebrating their birthdays on this day and for the month of January. And of course, wishing “Happy Birthday” to myself too! 🙂
Most importantly, I thank everyone (including the “Big Boss”, the Creator) who has and will be part of my life always…
Why wait for the world or someone to celebrate your existence? Always be in the celebration mood – and what else is better than each one of us to celebrate ourselves, our purpose and our living? When we truly understand and appreciate ourselves and our existence it will be easy to find and see beauty all around us. Nothing in the world is perfect – including us. I do not believe in waiting for something to be “perfect” to celebrate. It is important to celebrate when there are imperfections too. After all, each one of us is unique. Each one of us possesses certain qualities due to various reasons, according to our life purpose and/or life path.
Therefore, do not wait for a special occasion to celebrate yourself…you can begin now and you can do it on a daily basis…
“A child is born on that day, and at that hour when the celestial rays are in mathematical harmony with his individual Karma. His horoscope is a challenging portrait, revealing his unalterable past and its probable future result. But the natal chart can be rightly interpreted only by men of intuitive wisdom – These are few…”
~ Sri Yukteswar Giri ~
“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them”
~ Iyanla Vanzant ~
December 2018 is my first time flying or travelling to a destination via airplanes. Okay, that might sound “ancient” to some people. I am the type who prefers to travel via cruises instead of airplanes. Not sure why…but the idea of travelling via cruise is always pleasing to me than to travel via airplanes! Okay, the furthest I have travelled from my home country (Singapore) is to Thailand (Bangkok, Phuket, Patong). I have gone to many destinations in Malaysia (Malacca, Penang, Muar, Pahang (Tioman Island), Selangor, Langkawi, Kedah, Kuala Lumpur, Johore Bahru and more) via cruise ships, private cars or big coaches. Hey! Malaysia still has many places for me to explore…and I intend to do that more often soon, I hope.
Saturday, 15 December 2018 I flew to Langkawi. That was my first flight to Langkawi! In the past, I travelled to Langkawi via Star Cruises. Was I excited to fly for the first time? Yes – to a certain extent…But the big part comes in planning, isn’t it? I went for both relaxed and private guided tours.
Below are the details of my trip. I learned and benefited from some other people travel blogs. Now, it is my turn to contribute on my travels. I have listed the places and the companies I have used to make my trip to Langkawi a memorable one. It is just my part of sharing my travel experiences…
Let me just add – I do not get any commission or special benefits by mentioning any company contact details and services.
Happy reading and Happy travelling with me… 🙂
Trip Duration: 15 till 19 December 2018
15 December 2018, Saturday: On the way to Singapore Changi Airport, Terminal 4
Place Name: Atma Alam Batik
Address: Padang Mat Sirat, 07000 Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
Website: http://www.atmaalam.com/
More information from The Smith House website: http://thesmith-house.com/langkawi-attractions/atma-alam-batik-art-village-langkawi/
If you are keen to see how batik drawing and colouring is done, this is the place for you. If you are keen to try to draw and colour yourself a batik piece, then you will enjoy their workshop too. We went there first on our first arrival day as this was within walking distance from we were staying, “The Smith House”. They seem not to entertain individuals or small groups. I think they are more suited for tourists groups who wants to take their workshops, etc. All items are expensive as they mention it is unique and hand made. If you want an unique batik piece, then this place is fine. You will not find similar batik piece elsewhere as it is hand made in one to two quantities only.
It was raining as we were walking to this place. I could not snap much pictures…
Place Name: Field of Burnt Rice
Address: Kampung Raja, Mukim Padang Mat Sirat
Information found from web: https://www.langkawi-insight.com/langkawi_0000ab.htm
There is not much to see in this place, except a small ground where the rice was burnt. You have to pass by a row of souvenir shops to reach this place.
Place Name: Mahsuri
One can say your visit to Langkawi is never complete without knowing Mahsuri and her legend.
I ever visited this place 10 years ago and it certainly was well-maintained then. Now, I find it is totally in an unacceptable condition, with little lights and not even coordinated (not sure where is the entrance and exits too!). Toilets need maintenance too – it is not well kept!
Legend of Mahsuri and Langkawi:
http://iws.punahou.edu/user/cshigemitsu/worldlit/dialogues/6/LegendofLangkawipage.htm
More information on her generation:
http://www.malaysian-museums.org/mahsuri.htm
http://muzzalifahmustafa5b.blogspot.com/p/the-end-of-7-generations.html
Place Name: Taman Tugu Keris (Mahsuri Executed Premise)
This was the place where Mahsuri and other prisoners were executed those days – it was more like execution ground. She was executed at this spot and her tomb in another place.
Place Name: Mangrove / Bat Caves / Crocodile Cave / Eagle Watching
Information found from web: https://www.langkawi-insight.com/langkawi_000019.htm
One of the main highlight of Langkawi. One should never leave Langkawi without experiencing a boat ride to the mangroves. It was a great experience for us to invite Zamri, our tour guide along for this ride. He was explaining to us the various features of the island. Our boat driver was a former fisherman (67 years old who has retired from fishing, but now he is doing the boat rides).
Sure, we had lots of excitement when a monkey jumped onto our boat looking for food. The boat driver has some biscuits in a bag. The monkey snatched that and ran away!
Place Name: Gunung raya (mountain)
Information found from web: http://www.langkawi-info.com/attractions/gunung-raya.htm
Address: Jalan Air Hangat, Langkawi
Note: The D’Coconut Hill Resort is closed and so is the viewing tower. No reasons were given. When we were up there, we found a notice pasted on the front door, with no further access to the eight storey-tall viewing tower.
It is the highest mountain in Langkawi. The Gunung Raya peaks at 881 meters in height. It has wildlife such as leaf monkeys, flying foxes, macaque monkeys, squirrels, mountain hawk eagles, white bellied sea eagles, and great horn bills. We did not get to see any horn bills, except to hear their noises while there. Of course, along the roads, we saw monkeys!
Place Name: Langkawi Craft Complex
Address: Kompleks Kraf Langkawi, Jalan Teluk Yu, Mukim Bohor, 07000 Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
Website: http://www.kraftangan.gov.my/kompleks-kraf/kompleks-kraf-langkawi/
Not many tourists or people in this place. We saw the traditional crafts, fishing stuffs, batiks and more…There was a glass blowing place too. But it was too far to walk – we did not get to visit that place. Things sold here are more pricey than the regular marketplace souvenir place. But it was a clean and well maintained place.
Place Name: Four Seasons Hotel Lunch @ Kelapa Grill
Address: Jalan Tanjung Rhu, 07000 Langkawi, Kedah Darul Aman, Malaysia
Website: https://www.fourseasons.com/langkawi/dining/restaurants/kelapa_grill/?_s_sit=card%20carousel|More%20Dining%20Options%20details%20click|Kelapa%20Grill&c=t
Food was fantastic or should I say we were hungry and everything tasted great! 🙂 Customer service was excellent and the views were calming.
Place Name: Langkawi Wildlife Park
Address: Lot 1485, Jalan Ayer Hangat, Kampung Belanga Pecah, 07000 Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
Website: https://langkawiwildlifepark.com/
Honestly, I do not like this place. I found the animals were either overfed or disturbed. But it did excite young children. The ticketing counter staff was encouraging us to purchase some food to feed the animals, but I refused. True enough, when I entered the premise, I felt that some animals were overfed. My son was excited as he had some close encounters with some animals. For me, it will be a place I will not visit again.
Place Name: Underwater World
More information from The Smith House website: http://thesmith-house.com/langkawi-attractions/underwater-world-cenang-beach/
No pictures were taken as I felt it was almost similar to what Singapore has.
Place Name: Air Hangat Village
Address: 16, Jalan Air Hangat, Ayer Hangat, 07000 Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
Information found from web: https://www.langkawi-insight.com/langkawi_00007d.htm
We went to this place very early in the morning. We were the first there and we had a good soak of our feet in one of the hot springs. It was a great experience soaking the feet in the hot springs. Other than that, that place seems not to have that much activity or life in it. They have a Jacuzzi there too…
Place Name: Black Sand Beach (Pantai Pasir Hitam)
Address: 07000 Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
Information found from web: https://www.langkawi-insight.com/langkawi_000014.htm
According to our tour guide Zamri, the sand found in this beach is black due to the minerals Tourmaline and Ilmenite in the granite of Gunung Raya. These minerals flow down by the spring water from the mountain and cause the color of sand to turn black. He mentioned to us that the locals considers this sand to have healing properties.
Place Name: Waterfalls
More information from The Smith House website: http://thesmith-house.com/langkawi-attractions/seven-wells-waterfall/
We went to the small waterfall as we did not wish to climb any further than that to view the other waterfalls as we had to travel to some other places.
Place Name: Legenda Eagle Park
Place Name: Sunset Cruise
As for the Sunset Cruise, we went through QQ Holidays to get it booked for us. They arranged for us two way transport. This cruise is coordinated by Crystal Yacht Holidays. The sunset cruise experience in a small yacht was great. And if you are the type who will enjoy saltwater Jacuzzi, then this one is for you. Food served was good too. There was free flow of drinks throughout the cruise. A memorable experience.
If you wish to book directly with Crystal Yacht Holidays, https://www.crystalyacht.com/
*I did not book directly with them…
19 December 2018, Wednesday: Back to Singapore from Langkawi
Accommodation / Airlines / Tour Company we used for this holiday
Accommodation Name: The Smith House
Address: Lot. 297, (HSM. 772), Bandar Padang Matsirat, Bandar Padang Matsirat, 07100 Kampung Padang Masirat, Malaysia
Website: http://thesmith-house.com/
Duration of stay: 15 Dec – 19 Dec 2018
Room type: Twin room with extra bed
Room was spacious without the extra bed. Once the extra bed has been put, there was little walking space (you can view that from picture 3). To give us more space to move, we told them to remove the extra bed frame and retained the extra mattress. Only when we needed to sleep, we put the mattress on the floor. We were fine with that.
Plus Points:
(a) Very near the Langkawi International Airport
(b) Hygiene level is great
(c) Highest level is second level
(d) Breakfast spread is good, but repetitive. If you are not the fussy type, this will suit you well.
(e) Staff from the front desk, chauffeurs to cleaners are polite and cheerful. Most importantly, they are friendly and helpful.
Minus Points:
(a) This small “hotel” has two blocks. But it has only one lift. That means to say both passengers and service lifts are the same. But priority is given to guests. If there are guests waiting to go up and down, the service staff lets the guests to use the lift.
(b) And if you are staying at block B which is not located at the main block, you have a long walk to do passing various guest rooms. Again, it is a matter of preference. If you prefer the room very near the lift lobby, indicate it to them. For me, this was a small issue.
Tour Company Name: QQ Holidays Travel & Tour Sdn. Bhd. (Comp. No.861517-M) (KPL/LN 6037)
Address: No.77, 1st Floor, Persiaran Mutiara 2, 07000 Kuah, Langkawi, Kedah, Malaysia
Website: http://www.LangkawiTour.com
I was in communication with a person named Shan Ooi. She was very helpful, prompt and professional in her dealings with me. She gave us an experienced and knowledgeable tour guide Zamri. In fact, they will book accommodation too. As I had already done my accommodation booking with The Smith House directly, I only made bookings via them for 2 days private tours and also for Sunset Cruise.
Feedback on our tour guide: Zamri was helpful and patient to our many queries. He was very experienced in his knowledge of the trees and of the medicinal and healing properties. In fact, we learnt lot from him on the tree species and on the wildlife of Langkawi. He was also understanding to our dietary needs and ensured we were taken care of during our time with him. He also ensured that we did not have to queue to purchase tickets at certain attractions. He gave valuable advice such as which sightseeing places to go to taking into consideration of the weather and also of the crowd. Most importantly, he speaks good English.
Additional information from Zamri: He is a freelance tour guide serving many tour companies in Langkawi. He mentioned among the many tour companies in Langkawi, QQ Holidays Travel is great as they take efforts to provide good service to their customers. He too added the vehicles they use is well-maintained and every tour guide needs to get the vehicle cleaned up first before returning the vehicle to the company at the end of the day (after using to ferry customers).
I would recommend anyone to QQ Holidays as they cater to the customer needs and are professional in their dealings too. The different vehicles provided for our two day tours were clean.
The first day: we got the mini van as Zamri did not know it was only 3 of us. The second day: he got for us a MPV. Both were spacious and clean.
Flights – Airlines: AirAsia
Website: https://www.airasia.com/booking/home/en/gb
After checking various reviews over many websites, Air Asia seemed to be the best for trip to Langkawi. No issues. Flights departed on time. I feel the air crew team returning back to Singapore from Langkawi was much better than the team when we were going to Langkawi. We purchased Premium Economy and we were given priority check in. Flights were full – both going and return trip. The meals distribution needs better coordination. Even though we selected coffee at the time of web booking our flights, we were just offered standard plain water. We had to ask for coffee and then only they offered to us. We booked our flights via their direct website.
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. This book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”
~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce ~
If you are into Reiki, Self-healing or a Reiki practitioner, this is a useful website of free articles, downloads and more.
To know more about this website, visit this link: https://reikirays.com/about-reiki-rays/
In addition, they have a free download for welcoming 2019 with reflection and intention: https://reikirays.com/thank-you-newsletter/create-your-year-reiki-workbook.php
There are also many other articles by various Reiki Masters and Teachers. I am sure you can find something useful here.
Blessings,
Esther
My life is like a dandelion.
Why do I compare my life to a dandelion? I am sure that there many other things out there than just dandelions? Yes! Definitely. A dandelion brings out feelings of freedom, emotional release and more. It is more like a “release” feature than to hold.
BBC.com describes the life cycle of dandelions (https://www.bbc.com/bitesize/clips/zhrb4wx),
“A look at the life cycle of a dandelion including wind-aided seed dispersal. Once fertilisation has taken place the plant will produce seeds. Plants such as dandelions often use wind to transport seeds. Each dandelion seed comes with its own individual parachute. This device works very well and only a slight wind will carry seeds high into the sky. As there are so many adult plants in one place there is no space for the next generation of plants to grow. The dandelion therefore needs the wind to carry the seeds far away. New plants are formed and the whole process starts again.”
Website, “Flower Meaning.com” describes dandelions and its symbolism beautifully.
http://www.flowermeaning.com/dandelion-flower-meaning/
“What Does the Dandelion Flower Mean?
The common and humble Dandelion has a surprising amount of different meanings. The Dandelion means:
Since the Dandelion can thrive in difficult conditions, it is no wonder that people say the flower symbolizes the ability to rise above life’s challenges.”
And no wonder I prefer dandelions!
I have encountered and survived many difficulties in my life. I am at my present stage of my life here because of my hard work. There were no short cuts offered to me. All was with hard work sprinkled with determination and courage. After surviving so many ordeals in my life, on and off I feel lack of self-worth and self-confidence. I realise feelings of self-love and self-worth has to continue in any person as long as one lives. You cannot put a brake on those. Over the years, there were many occasions when my determination and courage was tested. I managed to get through those. The one thing I failed in the past is to take good care of myself! I took care of others, their needs and their future – but I did not do anything for myself specially and thoughtfully. At the same time, I know that it is no use blaming others. The truth is that I should not blame anyone for the negative feelings or emotions I have created in my life.
A quote by Nicole Bailey-Williams puts it beautifully,
“I was a dandelion puff…Some saw the beauty in me and stooped quietly to admire my innocence. Others saw the potential of what I could do for them, so they uprooted me, seeking to shape me around their needs. They blew at my head, scattering my hair from the roots, changing me to suit them. Yet still others saw me as something that was unworthy and needed to be erased.”
I also found a beautiful YouTube video of the life cycle of a dandelion by Neil Bromhall. View it to enjoy the transformation.
In addition, there is more information on dandelions at Building Beautiful Souls website by Bernadette King
Video of Time lapse Dandelion flower to seed head by Neil Bromhall
Ayurveda offers simple and easy to follow ways to reduce stress at any time. It is important to do regular self-checks for stress. If we ignore the stress symptoms, our body slowly develops illness and/or other negativity. The more we delay self-checks and self-management of stress, the harder and longer it becomes to achieve a balanced and calm state of mind and body.
Banyan Botanicals has shared an article telling ways to control stress. Do take time to read…to benefit your body and its systems.
An Ayurvedic Guide to Stress Management by Banyan Botanicals
Click here to go the article
In addition, Banyan Botanicals also has a page where you can take quiz to know your Ayurvedic compositions, etc. Feel free to visit the other pages for information on herbs, yoga and more.
Let us spread love and joy not only this holiday season, but all the time! And let us begin with ourselves…
Peace and Blessings.
“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.”
~ Margo Anand ~
Many times, I am the worst critic of myself. At times I get so hard on myself that I find it impossible to believe that I am doing it!
In the past, it has always taken much effort to love myself. Often, I was critical and even annoyed with myself over many aspects of my life and its happenings. Often, I took on the blame for other people failures. It took me a while or should say many years to realise that I do not need to carry all the burdens of everyone around me. It also took me awhile to love the person as I am. I lacked confidence in a number of aspects, for example in the way I look, dress, speak and more. While it does not need anyone to say anything negative to me, I could instantly, in a snap be very critical of myself that it brought me down in terms of emotions to negative thoughts and feelings. Often, it took plenty of courage on my part just to love myself. Afraid that I might look like a failure, I kept all of these to myself not wanting to discuss these aspects with anyone.
I am in my 40s now. Looking back, I could see many moments of life wasted just by being a critic of myself. That not only brought more bitterness to me but it also did not let me enjoy life and its moments. Spiritual knowledge or just to love myself is what I needed. While it is easy to go out to the world and proclaim, “I am the worse critic and I lack self-confidence,” I did not want to do it as society had its own expectations of me and most importantly, I had my own expectations of myself. I was afraid to talk about it to humans. Nevertheless, I turned inwards many times to my inner self and to God and his guides for direction and assistance. I am quite sure I received some kind of help from the inner self. At the same time, my self-critical voice was too loud to hear the inner voices. I wasted my life moments going around like a self-negative bomb, ready to burst on anyone that triggered it unknowingly.
The good thing to know is that your inner self NEVER gives up on you. My inner self made me search – search endlessly wanting to put an end to this very negative and dark areas. My inner self lead me to music, books and poems. The music piece that triggered in me a positive self-change and wanting to love myself more was “Adiemus” by Karl Jenkins. One day many years back in my dark negative self, I just played the CD (I had purchased the inspiration moments 1 collection of music), “Adiemus” piece came. I just closed my eyes and drifted away – in peace, in love and in bliss. I was so peaceful that it is now impossible to explain in words. As of now, I play that piece of music and I can get goosebumps! Another music piece that will offer me peace and love anytime will be “Nightingale” by Yanni. This music piece brought about a closer connection to Nature or Mother Earth. It was as if it was erasing my negativity and replacing it with pure love (like a mother cradling a child with love). I wanted these peaceful and positive feelings to persists and wanted to carry it with me always and forever. I was silly not to realise that those wonderful positive feelings was always there – in me and in everyone too. We put a mask over it – by our expectations and societal expectations. Once the mask is up, we forget our true beautiful and lovely selves.
My search went on and then I stumbled upon Self-Realisation Fellowship Parahamansa Yogananda book, “Journey to Self-Realization (Collected Talks and Essays, Vol 3)” and I was just so inspired and felt more loved and worthy by reading this book. It seemed that Parahamansa Yogananda was speaking directly to me on all my issues.
(The links to the music pieces and books are at the end of this post)
Another great mystic whom I love and respect is Rumi. He changes the reader with his beautiful poems. Rumi woke me from my negative sleep. He together with other Masters and Teachers made me see the positive value of my life. As Rumi puts,
“Close your eyes, fall in love, stay there.”
Slowly, but surely I made progress. Now, my critical self is quieter these days as I spend by being in Zen (by conscious living and living in the moments). However, my critical self is not totally “dead” or gone. It comes on and off making me think negatively over something or someone. I suppress the negative self-talk by focusing on my breath, nature (if I am outside), mantra, meditation, prayer, writing, coloring, drawing and more. I gently “kick” my negative thoughts and feelings away, replacing it with positive thoughts and feelings.
Often, it is very easy to fall into the trap of making ourselves look vulnerable and self-pitiable for so many negative and unhappy happenings in our life. The first step of remedy is to realise that we brought upon ourselves these negativity. In addition, we also need to realise that we are the Masters of our own life. Therefore, it is right that we erase it and replace it with positivity by our own efforts. It is not the responsibility of the world, society and family to get it done for us. We need to act like a Master and correct it.
These days there are many options out there to get it right. Books and music are easily available in electronic versions. Music is one way to find peace and unity with your own self. The only thing is that you just need to search for the right one to lift your spirits. Written works or books allow us to get in touch or connected with Ancient Masters. If you rather have people comfort, there are many support groups out there. If you are determined to get things right and / or sorted, the options will be available to you in many forms and ways.
The biggest mistake anyone can make is to waste his / her life precious moments in self-pity and negativity. To counter that, one need to love himself and be gentle at the same time. In fact it is so very easy to start loving our own self. We can start immediately without having to getting any clearance, approval or not doing much. After all, it is about us and life.
My friends, the year is ending soon. 2019 will be here soon. Take this opportunity to do a “self-check” and get rid of any mental clutter and negativity. It is now or never. You might not make great progress at a start. A small step is what one needs. Indeed, it is a big favor one will be doing for himself.
Imagine yourself as a positive bubble. There will be no one out there who will be able burst that bubble if you do not let them do it. If they try to burst your bubble, you can always tape it up with self-worth and self-love. I have done it and I am still doing it. Many others, who have experienced similar or different ways of negativity, have overcome it.
Let us all welcome 2019 with a big hug and wave a big bye to 2018, with gratitude…
“To be beautiful means to be yourself.
You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. “
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~
The links to the various music pieces that made a difference to my life
Link to Adiemus by Karl Jenkins
Video (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLjDAxHiDQ4
Audio (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX__4aHwYzM
Link to Nightingale by Yanni
Video1 (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPc5kMrStkY
Video2 (from YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inWzjwLmiPo
The links to the books that has made a difference to me and is continuing to make a difference to many others in the world…
Link to the Self-Realisation Fellowship Parahamansa Yogananda book, “Journey to Self-Realization (Collected Talks and Essays, Vol 3)”
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6604259-journey-to-self-realization
Link to Man’s Eternal Quest (Collected Talks & Essays 1) by by Paramahansa Yogananda
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/648109.Man_s_Eternal_Quest?from_search=true
Link to Rumi’s Little Book of Life: The Garden of the Soul, the Heart, and the Spirit by Rumi, Maryam Mafi (Translator), Azima Melita Kolin (Translator)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14343182-rumi-s-little-book-of-life
Link to Dancing Into the Light: An Inner Journey Guided by Rumi by Rumi, Omid Arabian (Translation), Shilla Shakoori (Illustrations)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32165751-dancing-into-the-light?from_search=true
and more…
Blog by Esther Neela M. 